What I've been up to...

Hey peeps. It has been a while. Totally my fault. It's me, not you.

sorry...I had to use the cheesiest break up line in the history of mankind.
Anyhow, let's get to business, shall we?
If you hadn't noticed, I started this blog, my facebook fan page etc. started going full force, then, I kind of disappeared. I chose to keep what was going on to myself because I didn't even know how I was dealing with it and being weak isn't my favorite thing to be. BUT because I wasn't around, there were unanswered calls, emails. people were wondering what was going on. So, either I play the shmuck or come clean. Since I have a new outlook on things..I've decided to come clean.

In the middle of August of this year I had my first grand mal seizure at 34 years old. The next day I felt like I had been run over by a truck and hit in the head with a sledge hammer, but I chalked it up to a high dosage of predisone I had been taking for some pretty severe poison sumac I had gotten on a family shoot.
Long story short, neurologist does all his tests...No, I have epilepsy and apparently always have. Any kind of stimulants are racing my heart blah blah blah....if you don't stop you don't see 50...whoa!!

I'm sorry really smart guy who can't seem to look me in the eye. That would only make my middle son thirty, that doesn't work for me.

I go home and change my life. I live the healthiest life possible. half a cup of coffee a day..that's it.
Running miles everyday, eating well. I'm a superstar!

In my eyes, it was a one seizure fluke.

Then.....they come and come and come, while on medication.
we up the meds, they come. we change the meds, they come, we up, they come.

RIght now I am on day 8 with no seizures. I want to do I dance but I don't have the energy.

In the last month and a half I had 54 seizures.
We don't understand why my seizures are so resistant to the medications, but they certainly are....well until now, fingers crossed.

Enough about the lame stuff....that's depressing....check this out:

I look totally awesome don't I? Which scares you more? the wires or my eyebrows?

This was my second one...I wish we had gotten pics of the first one. Oh yeah, I was all depressed and acting like a big ol baby then. haha.

This, my friends, is how one survives when they aren't supposed to do anything alone! A Nook has been added into the collection and I wear sunglasses while on my laptop at times (paranoid about the light) I can only keep concentration for a maximum of 15 minutes so my reading goes very slow. Ive read both of these anyhow, but they are worth reading over and over.

This is my girl Jordan. She has been coming with me forever. She calls me crazy Auntie. I love her so much. We always did projects and made cool things and played outside. One of my rules was that we didn't watch TV at Auntie's. Now that I'm sick, that's all we do. This particular night, I put one of my sparkly shirts over her jammies, put some costume jewelry and a bit of blush on and we decided my bedroom was the perfect place for a ball. It was the best ball ever. She didn't care if my hair looked like a "haystack" as she calls it, she told me I was beautiful and I told her the same. Everyone needs a niece like her. She lifts my spirit every week when she runs to the house yelling.."Crazy Auntie...I'm Here!!!!"

Talk Soon,

Melissa